Health Escapes Unfaithful

First it was Tiger Woods, now Kobe Bryant.
Woods was an unstoppable force until the media and his wife caught wind of his extra-marital affairs.
Soon after the top blew off on his secrets, injuries and inconsistency beset him.
Now it's Bryant's turn.
In the days following his wife Vanessa's move toward divorce because of unfaithfulness, Bryant plays in Los Angeles' final preseason game and tears ligaments in his wrist.
What's next? Is it to be two years before Bryant shows any sign of recovering?

War Horse: All Quiet on the Western Front Parody

Take the brutality, loss of innocence and violence that took place in the trenches of World War I. Now throw a horse in the middle of it all that runs around and winks at the camera every chance it can and you get War Horse. Watch a show on Hulu to see the 25 second trailer. It's better than the official trailers when it comes to seemingly making a mockery of one of the deadliest wars.
The trailer honestly looks like a parody sketch you'd see on SNL or Family Guy. I mean, come on, it's a horse.
Let me know if I'm wrong.

Stern Rule

Leviathan rule
Small in stature, big with fists
Negates Chris Paul trade

(A Haggy Haiku)

Angels Need Not Apply, Albert Pujols Signs

If today was 1994, young Roger Bomman would not need the service of angels to propel Anaheim's baseball team into pennant contention. Albert Pujols is all the help the currently dubbed Los Angeles Angels require to suddenly be one of the most feared teams in the American League.

Speed and solid defense surround the three-time MVP's bat, who defected from the St. Louis Cardinals and National League for a bigger market and more dollars (10 years and reportedly $254 million). 

Devastating starting pitching talent to boot, cemented by the acquisition of free agent C.J. Wilson, and the Angels should be considered an elite team from the get-go. They were only games away from winning the AL Wild Card.
"Angels in the Outfield" is a feel-good story about a foster boy finding a team and a family to believe in. 

The signing of Pujols is anything but; he abandoned his baseball family of 12 years (since being selected by St. Louis in the 13th round of the 1999 draft) in favor of more green. 

No matter, Pujols remains a model of class on-and-off the field and will give those angels from up above a chance to do what they do best: watch from afar.   

Get to a Better State, Aaron Rodgers Has

Aaron Rodgers is in a better state...
Coming off a stellar 2010 campaign and championship, Rodgers has improved to practically invincible status this go-round, in leading the Packers to a 12-0 start.
Packers included, Wisconsin's sports teams are better than Minnesota's
And Rodgers is a spokesman for State Farm Insurance.
The commercial is pretty great, (unfortunately) just like Rodgers.

Revenge is Bittersweet

The last time Pete Carroll faced Vince Young, the Longhorn burned him for 200 yards and the game-winning score on a fourth down with 19 seconds left in the national championship game.

The heartbreaking 41-38 loss ended a 34 game winning streak for Carroll and would be only the second of his quarterback Matt Leinart's college career. 

It also happened to be the first Rose Bowl loss for the Trojans since 1989. 

Nearly six years removed from that shocking and aggravating defeat, both Young and Carroll were in very different places. 

Young fell out of favor in Tennessee, the team that drafted him following the Rose Bowl triumph, and accepted a backup role in Philadelphia this season. 

Carroll fled USC to coach the Seattle Seahawks last year, amid a recruiting scandal involving Reggie Bush and others.  

Thursday night, their paths crossed and Carroll had another shot to outfox Young, who was starting for the Philadelphia Eagles in place of an injured Michael Vick. 

Carroll's Seahawks forced four Young interceptions and won convincingly, 31-14. 

No doubt winning at the NFL level feels good, especially against a player who single-handedly ended a magical season, but the stakes were much lower and less memorable. 

Young still has the upper-hand in this one.

New Orleans Saints: Big Easy Schedule

On paper, the New Orleans had the 13th-toughest schedule in the league entering the 2011 season.

Quite the contrast from the past two campaigns, including their Super Bowl run, when the schedulers pitted Drew Brees' team against some of the softest teams in the league. 

A closer look shows New Orleans was again blessed by got off easy by the schedule makers once more. 

Outside of divisional games the Saints play 10 times, evenly divided between home and away.

Their road games include Green Bay, Jacksonville, St. Louis, Tennessee and Minnesota. 

Meanwhile at home the Saints got Houston, Indianapolis, Detroit, Chicago and New York (Giants). 

Opponents faced on the road this year combined to go 37-43 last year, while the home ones went 43-37. 

Take away the Peyton Manning-less Colts from the home schedule and the undefeated Packers from the road, and the talent disparity is absurd; 14-33 versus 29-18.
I guess that's why they call New Orleans the Big Easy. 

Only in Minnesota

Forward progress called
Although Percy Harvin scored
Vikings skunked again

(A Haggy Haiku)

==============================
Let's not get too dramatic. This is no overarching research project of the entire league. But how is it the Vikings get screwed out of so many touchdowns?
The Packers won a game in 2010 largely thanks to an overturned touchdown on a catch by Visanthe Shiancoe. There has been more.
This time, Percy Harvin, on a second effort, broke the plane against the Falcons and yet no touchdown was called when it could have cut Atlanta's lead to three.
For Leslie Frazier to not challenge the play is also absolutely ludicrous.
Oh well.

Why Verlander Wasn't the Right MVP Choice

Tim Tebow Redefining National Football League

If the National Football League was organic, Tim Tebow would be Dolly the sheep.

His throwing mechanics resemble a windshield wiper, predictable and one dimensional on a singular plane. 

And his passing accuracy is as proficient as Ted Williams was with a bat in hand -- .400 at best. 

There's no denying fundamentally and statistically, Tebow is not what you'd envision in a starting quarterback. 

There's also no denying Tebow has an x-factor. (He'd probably help Simon Cowell reach the 20 million viewers and make the critical judge feel better for leaving Idol). 

Two weeks ago Tebow became the first Broncos quarterback to win back-to-back road intradivisional games since 1977, when the former Heisman winner defeated Kansas City 17-10. 

A week later and a win later the Broncos are an even 5-5 and in the AFC West hunt. 

The latest victory was perhaps his most impressive. 

Tebow's last-minute heroics produced the game-winning 20-yard touchdown run with 58 seconds left that capped a 95-yard drive against a vaunted Jets defense. 

The win was his fourth and third comeback in five starts this season. 

Tebow is an openly religious man and humanitarian. Good things are said to happen to good people. 

Surely that doesn't completely explain his success. 

Perhaps since he so strongly believes in a higher power, he avoids complacency. 

Whatever the specifics of his x-factor is, Tebow is certainly a winner. 

His team thinks so, too. The Broncos cut displaced starter Kyle Orton. 

And while Oakland is the only team in the division with a pulse, Tebow has, for the time being, resurrected Denver from another rebuilding year. 

The Broncos now have a pulse of their own, albeit irregular. 

Get Off Wall Street, Go to Work

It started on Wall Street.

Across the country, like a swarm of flies on Lake of the Woods during summer, people have gathered to protest the way big businesses and corporate America have purportedly taken advantage of the common person. These protesters say investment banks and the people working behind huge office desks in their neatly pressed suits are to blame for the current state of the economy.

They say these pecunious, miserly, fat cats take huge bonuses while they, Average Joe and Jane, sit on the unemployment line, living on food stamps and a small government stipend each week.

For a country founded on free markets and democracy, these protesters sound more Marxian than Adam Smith.

The best of times bring out the best in people; the worst of times bring out bitter, grumblers.

When things go wrong the human mind tries to, nay, needs to rationalize the reason for the body's demise. Instead of looking within and adapting to the state of their environment, these protesters have instead used Wall Street as scapegoats.

Let's be real here.

Wall Street is not to wholly to blame for the current economic state of individuals; Wall Street doesn't choose who is employed; Wall Street isn't entirely culpable for those select people inclined to live outside their means who refinance a $500,000 home on a salary of $25,000 per year. 

Individuals control whether they have a job; whether they view the world positively or negatively; whether their life, like Guido Orefice's, is beautiful.

Whatever the sentiments are of how Barack Obama has done in office, there's no denying he was spot on when he said America has gone soft. Maybe his administration hasn't helped; maybe investment banks could have been more upstanding; maybe there, too, is alien life in another galaxy.

Instead of complaining about the don't haves, or wishing for something someone else has, work.

The best solution to all of life's aspirations is work. It funds lifestyle choices. 

Put in the time, the energy -- give it everything -- and there won't be need to protest.

Sure there are a fair share of individuals who haven't had to lay down a finger a day in their life, carrying a silver spoon in hand. But the majority of those successful individuals these protesters are singling out have put in the time and are being justifiably paid for it.

When faced with a problem, focus on finding a solution rather than blaming something or someone else.

Resilience, perseverance and unity is what made America great during the Industrial Revolution through World War II; creativity, positivism, ideas and innovation did the United States proud during the 90s and 2000s.

Let us work to bring back those attitudes today and maybe, just maybe, things will improve.

Hell, it's more productive than barking upon deaf ears.

Sign of the Times: Matt Kemp Cashes In

In an endless competition, a dog-eat-dog world, the "market value" of ballplayers are generally on the rise. 

Matt Kemp signed a $160 million payday Friday to remain with the Dodgers, the team that selected him in the sixth round of the 2003 draft. 

The contract runs through the 2019 season. 

Kemp is a rare breed of speed, power and accuracy offensively and defensively. He is a two-time Gold Glover in center field and has won a pair of silver sluggers. 

Another award might soon be his, too. The NL MVP will be announced Nov. 22. 

His 2011 stat line of .324, 39 home runs, 126 RBI, 115 runs and 40 stolen bases is Howard Roark (The Foutainhead) impressive -- singularly and individually his own, marked by transcendent beauty, in a league now dominated by pitching. 

Kemp is also an everyday employee. Since becoming a a full-time starter prior to the 2008 season, Kemp has played in all but 11 games. 

If anyone has the talent and durability to fulfill an eight year contract worth $20 million per annum, it's Kemp. 

Like with any big deal, what you see or have seen, isn't necessarily what you'll get moving forward. 

There are always untold injuries and outstanding circumstances that can change a promising, reasonable deal into a good stiffing. 

Los Angeles remembers Jason Schmidt. 

That $47 million contract caused endless buyer's remorse. 

Around the league there have been untold tales of injuries sending players home with little to show for a fat wallet. There's Joe Mauer, Johan Santana, Erik Bedard and Justin Morneau recently. Carl Pavano, too. The list goes on. 

Those types of poison arrows cannot always be avoided. 

It's the play for money, not love, types that are most worrisome -- those who play best in contract years and then, like a shadow after dusk, disappear until the next time the sun rises on another big pay day.

Kemp, when it comes to baseball, seems to choose love over money. On a good track record, there is one blemish, though: the 2010 season.  

At the plate, Kemp let strikes pass through the hitting zone without as much as a flinch a little more and remained disciplined at balls off the plate a little less. On the bases Kemp carefully chose his spots to run a little less and was thrown out a lot more. In the field Kemp made spectacular plays a little less and jogged, rather than ran, to balls hit past him a little more. 

In all, Kemp posted a career lows in average (.249), slugging (.450) and fielding (.981) and career highs in strikeouts (170) and caught stealing (15 in 34 attempts) since becoming a starter. 

Maybe it was dating Rihanna, maybe it was the team's ongoing management issues. Maybe it was a down year. 

Whatever the case, it's the one scar on an otherwise smooth start to a career and big time payday for Los Angeles' franchise center fielder. 

Minnesota Twins May Be Improving Without Making Any Moves

Success is relative.
Remember the good old bell curve in college? That 25 on the physics exam may have been statistically more imprecise than the final recited message during a game of telephone. Now if everyone else hit like Nick Punto on the test, you'd be OK.
Take the Minnesota Twins. In 2011, Minnesota was the worst team in the American League, besting traditional sourpusses Kansas City, Seattle and Baltimore. In fact, at 63-99, only the Houston Astros (56-106) required more tutoring than the Twins.
Houston is in the midst of a transitional period, having not reached the postseason since being swept by Chicago in the 2005 World Series. The Astros are also changing ownership. According to an AP source, buyer Jim Crane isn't allowed to finalize the team until he agrees to move Houston to the AL. The report suggests MLB wants a two way mirror and even numbers across the two leagues. Right now the NL has 16 teams, the AL 14.
The move wouldn't happen until 2013 at the earliest, given the 2012 schedule has already been released.
Still, it sounds like an opportunity for Minnesota -- whether it knocks off a letter grade on its own (Minnesota Twins wins) -- to look better very soon.
Gotta like the sound of that.

Badger Herald Columns from Years Ago

Oct. 31, 2008
Super-Man Up, Shane Connelly

May 1, 2008
Swan has work cut out for him in NFL

Mar. 14, 2008
Geoffrion plays different game

Mar. 12, 2008 (Feature)
Michael Davies Matures

Feb. 21, 2008 (Feature)
Injury forces Brendan Smith to watch from afar

Feb. 1, 2008
Gophers, Tubby Smith Right Fit

Dec. 11, 2007
Family Comes First for ex-Badger Receiver

Dec. 5, 2007
Hill of a pickle for UW tailback

Nov. 20, 2007
Gophers act like turkeys in defeat

Nov. 13, 2007
Wideouts share painful season

Nov. 8, 2007 (Feature)
Badgers' very own 'Spidey'

Nov. 6, 2007
Badgers defeated in wake of loss

Oct. 30, 2007
Short Bus holds dreams, booze

Oct. 23, 2007
Freshman Kyle Turris shows he's legit

Oct. 16, 2007
Closer look at college football's uncharacteristic first half

Oct. 9, 2007
Defeat puts season in perspective for UW

Oct. 2, 2007
Wisconsin gets no love in Polls

Sept. 18, 2007
Football walks perilous road

Aug. 6, 2007
Henry Mason's Guidance Sorely Missed by Badgers

Mar. 19, 2007
Bauer power leads to titles

Mar. 5, 2007
Show love to the non-rev sports

Feb. 26, 2007
NBA games latest form of torture

Feb. 19, 2007
Wise ones grow beards

Jan. 29, 2007
Lady Ice Badgers are historic powerhouse

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